Keep your power

Have you ever been in a situation where stakes were running high and stress was eminent?  Where you were driving toward a specific result only to see the exact opposite happen?  Of course you have, we all have.  How do you respond to these situations?  Do you keep calm, neutral and unaffected or do you "wear your heart on your sleeve" by getting upset, angry and emotional?  Do you voice your opinion negatively only to regret what you've said?  These are common situations and you shouldn't feel bad about the past.  My insight can provide you tools to handle these situations more effectively in the future.

A good way to think about this concept is in terms of personal "power".  I define personal power as the set of values you have for yourself and how you choose to live your life.  Do you choose to eat healthy and take care of yourself physically?  This increases value & power.  Do you take on new challenges and hobbies knowing that you'll stumble many times before getting it right?  Value & power get another bump up.  How about handling yourself and your emotions when something negative happens?  Go ahead and top off the glass of personal power.

Also, why is a situation or outcome negative?  Are you perceiving it that way because you didn't get what you want?  Because you were expecting something?  In short, expectations are best if they are never created in the first place.  Focusing your energy and thoughts on the present and how you can be your best self at the current moment will provide you unlimited happiness where there is no room for expectations.

What do other people see when you respond?  If you choose to get upset, emotional and angry then they see someone that is unable to control themselves.  You're viewed as a wounded animal and others would love to help except they have their own issues to deal with.  In some cases people will abuse you further because it's apparent that your emotions can be toyed with easily.  In essence, you're "giving away your power."

Now what happens if you do the exact opposite?  A situation blows up and you stay neutral.  There's no regretful statements and you keep your emotions for yourself.  Your value increases dramatically and no one can take advantage of you because you haven't given them the right to do so.  You're viewed as a mature, mentally and socially intelligent adult, not a wounded animal.  You understand what has happened, take the time to process it and then move on to new experiences, challenges and situations.  No need to hold a grudge or focus on revenge.

I recently finished the book Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand.  The plot is based on Louis Zamperini's, a now World War II vet, experience of surviving a plane crash and being stranded at sea only to end up in a Japanese POW camp.  Through all the abuse, humiliation and inhumane treatment he was able to look deep into his soul to love and pray for those that mistreated him.  Martin Luther King Jr followed the same mantra by preaching to his followers to love and wish the best for those that discriminated blacks.

These are complex topics so don't feel like you should be able to master them overnight.  They take a lot of thought, concentration, and practice especially if you've been trapped in a victim mentality for many years.  The moment you realize that not wearing your heart on your sleeve is your best possible option is the moment that you've taken control of your life and pushed it to the next level.  Appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts.

E